You Havin' A Bad Day On Your Job?!

Blog Repost

This is one of them emails circulatin' around the world on the web. One of them FWD: FWD:FWD: things I hate so much.  Is it accurate? Really bad for that fella if it was but the story tells a point. Havin' a bad day at work? Can't be as bad as this story or pictures I put up here in this post. The grass is always greener on the other side but sometimes? The manure stall's over there too!

"Rob is a commercial saturation diver  for Global Divers in  Louisiana.   He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2   FM in Ft. Wayne,  Indiana, who was  sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I must first bore you with some technicalities about my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to stay warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan and I've used it many times with no complaints.  What I do when I get to the bottom and start working is to take that hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. With in a few seconds my butt started to burn.  I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. 

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climber out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut." 

Now... Your day ain't so bad. Is it?!

This post originally published on my blog TheHollerinStump.com on 06/28/2011. The blog is built on Blogger and hosted by Google. They have locked me out of my account there months ago, the domain didn’t registered and will cease to be available in the late spring of 2023. I am reposting as many of these posts here for posterity.

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